Top Ten Reasons to Suspect Your Priceless Collection of Antiquities is Forged

With apologies to David Letterman...

10. Dealer always greets you with "Shalom, sucker!"
9. Text of temple plaque proves to be headlines from last week's Haaretz.
8. Sticker on bottom of ossuary: HOW'S MY FORGING? CALL 1-888-IFORGE.
7. Ancient Hebrew bulla came with ancient Hebrew decoder ring.
6. Text of Aramaic ostracon, when translated, reads: PLEASE RECYCLE.
5. Lab analysis of patina reveals trace amounts of bubble gum.
4. On bottom of decanter: "Made in China."
3. Text of ancient Egyptian scarab: "I (heart) Pharaoh."
2. Dan Rather vouches for their authenticity.
1. They were purchased from Oded Golan.